I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
