I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
