You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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