Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
