thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
As shirtless as possible
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
