Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
