so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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