Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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