I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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