and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize