My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
