I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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