whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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