would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
