I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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