If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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