He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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