No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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