She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ttyl tear gas
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You were trust falling into bushes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
