i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
