so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
what day is it and did you see me today?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
