We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
