I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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