I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
