we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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