Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You ruined the universe
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize