No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
