That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
