What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
