bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We just shotgunned beers for America
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
