god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
