i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
