we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's get the cat blown out
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
