This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
