wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
