Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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