So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
