i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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