some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
