I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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