I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
