Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
