What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
