I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They are going to name an STD after you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
