a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
