Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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