In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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