just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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