Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Acid is not a monday night drug
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
