I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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