I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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