yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I love you. Go after that dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
