I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Buhtt sex?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
