the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
