She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
