I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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