Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
