dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
