my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
